Get Drunk
by FallenShateiel
Summary: Percy has been fired, finding a job in the Muggle world he becomes someone else... HarryPercy in where Percy has problems and all of them are mentally...
1. Default Chapter

**GET DRUNK**

**Get drunk, get drunk**

**Those truly drunk are lucky**

**For paradise belongs to them**

**If alcohol, looks **

**and lips that drip honey...**

**Of none of those can cover up man's suffering**

**If you proceed from being dead drunk to half sober**

**To fully awake finally**

**Wouldn't you keep your hat cocked and **

**Your eyes half closed**

**To act slightly intoxicated throughout your life?**

**The flies shivering in the cold wind**

**Flutter their wings before the paper window pane**

**Dreaming of dead bodies**

**Of watermelon rinds in high summer**

**And of a dreamless void**

**In the epilogue of my ridicule **

**I hear my own shone:**

"**Your too are only buzzing and buzzing**

**Like a fly."**

**If I were a fly **

**I'd wait the sound of a fly swatter**

**Smashing on my head.**

**-Ho Ch'i-iang**

So here I am one year later. Sitting in a Muggle cafe. No one will ever guess what I am. Nor will most of them even care. I don't even care what I am. Not anymore nor will I ever again.

I was once a Weasley. A poor family with no extra money, and always with second- hand- me- downs.

I am the Weasley that fosook his family for money. Forsook his honour by becoming a lackey to one of the world's biggest suck- up in any form of politics. My brother hates me for hating his best friend, whom just happens to be the notorious Harry Potter, The Boy-Who-Lived. All the things that I am not proud of doing coming back to haunt me. I was fired from the Ministry. My father never even came to see my dishonourable discharge. And so I begin my life out in the Muggle world with no schooling that wasn't from Hogwarts.

How am I going to live?

Even sitting here twirling the coffee stick in circles will help me.

Hmm... I think I'll leave the country. Go on a trip and end up in another country. Work for them, since I'll find no work here.

I lean back in my chair. The world feels like its burning and I can't put a stop to it.

I lost my only job. I lost my only girlfriend. I lost my only family...

What am I suppose to do?

"Hey kid... I hear yeh've been lookin' round' for o' job?" The voice is low key. I look into the dirty and deeply sketched face. The smell of fish and whiskey overfill my senses.

I nod.

"Yeh good at workin' hard. Eh?" He dosen't have very many teeth and its beginning to worry me.

Another nod.

"Good. Yeh can start right now." His clothes look like they had been at one point fine clothes but too many times without a wash.

I get up to follow him.

It is hard work. Collecting the fish and unloading the machines. The pulp, they call it, takes a lot of time. The lumber, is the least of work. I smell like sweat. I've been called sissy and and a queen several times for the way that my hands are not as hard as their own. But I do what I'm told properly so they mostly leave me alone. I like this type of work. It requires all of your attention and non of your strength or endurance is to be wasted.

I hurt after its done. Sore and tired. I like the combination.

"Hey you want to go out for a beer?" One of my co- workers says. Another ruffian.

"Sure why not?"

The bar is the noisiest one I have ever been to. I can barely hear myself think. The beer flows like water fountains. I don't really drink at all, but here I've already had several beer and a couple of what they call shooters. I'm laughing a joking with the men and women at our table as though we've been friends for ages.

More beers the room begins to get blurry. I'm talking to one of the more clean cut Muggels aobut he whole politic thing with the country Sudan. How stupid I find it. Because I do find it stupid. I mean the whole concept about why we as a species have to start and finish a war is completely lame.

I believe at one point I ran to the bathroom and threw up and entire weeks worth of food. One of the guys went in there with me. Mike, I think.

I woke- up in a foreign bed. It smelt like a sort of flower. Someone was in the shower. My head was hurting as though the world was pounding on the door.

I moaned and curled up in a ball.

A tall man with auburn hair and fine physique comes out of one of the doors in a towel wrapped around his naval area. I couldn't help but stare. Peeping out form the top of the blanket covers.

He laughed a rumbling laugh.

"Well a good moring to you Percy. I made some coffee. Bit cold now." I have to admit that I like his smile. Especially on that face of his.

I got up.

And so here I am. Drinking coffee as this strange and very handsome man changes. He drops his towel. I stare. Turning around and catching me, I blush and turn away quickly. Laughing he finishes changing.

I suddenly realize who this is. My boss, John Armstrong.

I just scalded myself with the coffee.

"So are you feeling any better?" He's leaning against the door frame. I nod. Lying.

"You better book off today. They'll be doing inspections today." I nod and look for that thing that makes it possible to talk to Muggles over long distance.

"Right by your hand." I nod.

These things are so funny. I mean how the hell are you suppose to use it. "um... you know what. I think I'll be Okay for today. Besides this is the best paying job I have ever been given and so it would be a waste to lose it. Don't you think?" I know that I'm babbling but with standing there and being so handsome.

If he just looked like he did yesterday morning, with dirt covering him in layers. I think with that I wouldn't be staring at him as though he were a god.

He nods. Than comes near to me. "Is there something I should know about you Percy?" He looks suspicious.

Smiling he comes closer. "I thought that when you first became a waterfront worker that you'd be a know- it- all jerk who'd rub it in our faces that we're worse than all your posh friends." His dark brown eyes are shining.

"Maybe it was just the hair." His hand is going though my red hair.

The second time that I've waken today it's late afternoon. I feel sore all over. But strangely I feel great. I'm in pain, and yet I think its lovely pain. Hell, I don't even know what to think. My whole world has turned over.

Someone is breathing right by my ear. Rubbing his legs with mine. His hand on my lower back rubbing. It tickles.

I know that I have to leave. I've never been in such pain or pleasure.

I wait until he begins to breathe deeply than I untangle myself form him and start to dress.

I'm debating whether or not I should leave him a note. I've never done this before, especially with another man so I don't know what to do.

**Dear John,**

**I don't know how to write this but here it goes.**

**I really enjoyed this morning, and being that it was my first time it could not have been better. Though I think that I'll be sore for awhile. If your wondering I won't tell anyone, being that this will be our little secret.**

**Anyway I have to go. Family reasons.**

**Sincerely yours,**

**P.**

Its been two weeks and work has become an asset to my life. Broadening my shoulders, creating muscles where muscles have never been existent before. I have more money than I have ever had before. I have a lover that is perhaps the most handsome and sexually gratifying than I may ever have again.

I'm employee of the month. With friends, that actually like me.

I am Percy, nothing more, nothing less. The world is beginning to shine for me. Its nearing the end of July. John has become rather impatient with me. I don't want to go on top.

"Come on lovely. It'll be okay, and if your not good at it than we'll switch in the middle."

"John, could we talk about this later. I have to do the lift truck."

I'm in London shopping with John since he seems so insistent that I have proper footwear. I decide to let him worry about the shoes whilst I get some rum.

I think I've become rather an alcoholic.

I can't help but look at myself as I pass by a mirror shop.

Long bright red hair that has a dry look to it. Skin that has tanned considerably. I remember the aloe vera lotion John had to put on me. Muscles that obliterate what used to be just a skinny body. Shoulders that have been painfully broadened. Dark blue eyes that look black depending on which way the light looks at them.

I can't believe it. I am handsome.

No wonder I don't look in mirror's anymore. They tell a lie. Because that's what I'm doing in this Muggle world. Pretending to be someone I'm not. Someone who has a lot of friends to drink with, charm enough to become the most popular guy at work.

Whatever.

_**SITTING**_

_**The degree of nothingness**_

_**Is important:**_

_**To sit empty**_

_**In the empty**_

_**In the sun**_

_**Receiving fire**_

_**That is the way**_

_**To mend**_

_**An extraordinary world,**_

_**Sitting perfectly**_

_**Still**_

_**And only remotely**_

_**Human**_

_**-Phyllis Webb**_

The world seems upside down considering that one street over there lies the world that I grew up in. John hasn't shown up yet, and I'm worried that someone will recognize me from that time.

I was right to worry.

"Oh My Gosh is that you Percy?" I know that the world is small. But I was hoping it wasn't that small.

I turn to look into the face of my accuser.

Bright red hair that falls back from the face of a sweet pretty girl. A smile that seems to fit the face perfectly.

Ginny.

I redden. Everyone is there getting of a bus. George, Fred, Bill, Charlie,Ron, Ginny, mother and father as well as two other people that I don't recognize. They're all staring at me with the most astonished expressions.

Fred breaks the silence.

"I thought you got fired form the Ministry." Idiot.

"I did." I sound cold.

"Than where did you get those clothes?" Dumbass.

"A store." I clearly don't want to talk about it.

"...How did you pay for them?" Hmm... I wonder how far I would get if I ran.

"Killed the shop keeper." Ha!That's what they get.

"WHAT!" I try not to but the rolling of the eyes just came.

I told my mother that I couldn't dine with them because I was waiting for a friend.

"_You_ have a friend?" It was Ron who said it this time.

"Yep. And I have a boyfriend." I smiled coldly.

"WHAT!" The shocked looks on their faces is funny.

I laugh. "I've decided that I'm gay."

Charlie looks outraged. "You can't just decide that you're gay."

"Sure I can."

"Oh really. By what reason."

"We fucked and than I realized that I liked it and so I am gay." I say the last part with a hint of sarcasm.

I rather enjoy watching them try and not to scream.

My mother is the only one whose remained calm.

"Dear, you know that I don't like that talk no matter how true it is."

"Yes mother."

"So what is your new job?"

"Waterfront worker."

"Ah, and is it fun?"

"I'm usually drunk so I don't know. Probably."

"...that's great, dear." I can see she's ready to break.

I lean back and start to rock on my heels.

"Anyway I need to go now so I'll be seeing you." I nod to them and walk off. I'll explain it to John later.

I find myself wanting to go home. John called pissed off and told me to go fuck myself form no one.

I told him that it wasn't possible.

He hung up.

I don't think we'll be together anymore.

I fell asleep and woke up to the sound of someone pounding of the door. The rum and beer bottles that litter the floor are numerous and rather embarrassing. The killer hang over that I have, not at all helping the problem.

"PERCY WEASLEY OPEN THIS DOOR. RIGHT NOW!" I know that voice. Its not my mother, but one of my brothers. I forget which one but one of them.

I decide that if they think they can scream their way into my apartment than they can wait until I take a shower.

I like showers they relax me as nothing else relaxes me. The water peals onto my body washing away a day's worth of filth. I start to sing.

_**TOURNIQUET**_

_**I tried to kill the pain**_

_**But only brought more**_

_**I lay dying**_

_**And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal.**_

_**I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming**_

_**Am I too lost?**_

_**My god my tourniquet**_

_**Return to me salvation**_

_**My god my tourniquet**_

_**Return to me salvation**_

_**Do you remember me**_

_**Lost for so long**_

_**Will you be on the other side**_

_**Or will you forget me**_

_**I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming**_

_**Am I too lost?**_

_**My god my tourniquet**_

_**Return to me salvation**_

_**My god my tourniquet**_

_**Return to me salvation**_

_**My wounds cry out for the grave**_

_**my soul cries out for deliverance**_

_**Will I be denied Christ**_

_**Tourniquet**_

_**My suicide.**_

_**-Evanescence**_

I come out of the bathroom and go into my room to get changed into some proper clothes. Everyone is in the other room.

Changed and cleaned I go into the dining room and wait for them to say what they want to say. Ginny is bending down to pick up the bottles. The rest of them look half amazed to see that I have this addiction. I don't care.

Mother is sitting there in blank shock and father is comforting her.

"Percy. How could you let yourself become like this?" Her voice sounds like she's ready to cry.

My brothers are staring at me as though I were a bug waiting to be squished. Harry Potter is there too. The only one not looking disgusted.

I ignore them and go to the cupboards.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing, and more nothing. I have no food. And no more rum.

"GODDAMMIT!" I can't help myself I'm so pissed off.

"PERCY!"

I turn around and scream. "FUCK OFF!" and storm into my room.

I lock the door and turn on my CD player that John gave me turned up at full. I listen to it while finding one last bottle of vodka.

"_**...Paralyzed nothings getting through to me**_

_**Hypnotized from my surroundings**_

_**I wanna be something I could never be**_

_**I wanna see things that I could never seeing**_

_**Yeah I'm gonna do it again.**_

_**SICK OF MY LIFE**_

_**I'M TIRED OF EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE..."**_

I don't know how long I stayed in the room listening to the CD. Godsmack said the CD cover. I rather like the band.

I remember in my delirium that of all the people in my life it was Harry Potter who came in and sat on the end of my bed. I remember putting one of the pills that one of the guys at work gave me into my mouth. I stared at him. Noticing that he had grown beautifully. Handsome. Pitch black hair that was mussed, bright dark rimmed green eyes that shared their pain. I remember getting up and touching his cheek tracing the scar with my thumb. Kissing the wound and whispering thoughts of love into his ear. Saying that he was like an angel and that I could only imagine whom his lovers may one day include. Saying that if he wasn't Harry Potter I would go to lengths to show him that I could be his secret lover.

I remember the sadness in his eyes and the whispered way that he tried to reason with me to go and talk to my mother. The door opened and I knew that I'm too close to him. The screams and calls of 'FAGGOT' overwelm my senses.

I black out. Wake up and I'm on the floor of my room with a a black eye and a sore stomach. Groaning I roll to my side and throw up.

"Percy?... Oh my God PERCY." Its Ginny.

I ignore her. Getting up. And walking drunken pass everyone into the lobby. Father and mother telling everyone to let me go. Once outside I throw up again. But Mike and my other drinking buddies drive by than turn around, seeing me.

"Hey Percy couldn't wait for us could you?" I laugh despite myself.

And that is all I remember before waking up at work. Still drunk, but so is everyone else.

I'm logging so I'm sobering pretty rapidly. I notice that by the shoreline there seems to be a number of people gathered. But I can't give it my attention because if I slip on one of the logs I'm dead.

My feet are moving fast and with a coordination that I have never known myself to have before. The work is hard and pulls at my muscles making my whole being scream out in shots of pain.

It goes on like this for hours.

I love this work. I applied to a logging camp in September. I figure that I could be a worker for all my life. Besides this work pays a lot of money.

Groaning I finally finish. Getting to the cafeteria and ordering a huge meal. I don't care what they cook isn't even real food, fact is I'm starving.

Those people are still there and I begin to realize that they aren't suppose to be. Wizards and witches that's what they are. Come to see their own kind actually work like a real person instead of sitting on their ass.

I continue to eat. I don't know whether or not to go home or straight to the bar. Today's payday so I don't know.

Handing me my check I leave the work place. Only to be bombarded with questions from the wizarding world.

Rita Skeeter.

"...So Percy how much do you get paid?" Urg. God get some clothes that are not for 12 year- olds.

"Alot."

"Is is hard work?" Imbecile.

"Yeah."

"Any chance that you could die?" No Shit Sherlock.

"Yeah."

"Is it better to work here as a Muggle than at the Ministry of Magic?"

"Fuck Yeah!" I can't help myself I'm sick of this conversation.

"....Well do you think that you'll ever find yourself going back to the Ministry?"

"....You mean back to the world of Make Pretend. No, thank you I like to think that I would fit better on this side of the border. Seeing as they control the world and to piss them off is to blow up this entire planet." I smile coldly.

"Besides I'm tired right now and have become and alcoholic as well as a faggot. As my brothers so fondly call me." Acid burning through. I don't care. Let her write what she will. I am Percy nothing more, nothing less.

I'm sitting in my room. With no alcohol thinking about how much in a year that my life has changed. How much in a month it changed again.

Its interesting. Especially when I came home to a snowy owl on my table. Hedwig. I got the letter. The apology and the secret wanting of a reply. With my pen I wrote on a napkin, that I stood by what I said the night before. That if he ever decided to forget the World of Pretend I'll wait here in this Reality for him. With a poem I fondly love.

_**THE MISSING**_

_**She never watched**_

_**The morning rising**_

_**Too busy with the **_

_**Day's first chores**_

_**But oft she would watch**_

_**The sun's fading**_

_**As the cold of night crept**_

_**Across the moors**_

_**And in that moment**_

_**She felt the loss**_

_**Of everything that**_

_**Had been missed**_

_**So tired to that feeling**_

_**The spirit sink**_

_**She had not felt **_

_**Her own heart's wish**_

_**-Philippa Boyens**_

I'm trying to think of Harry Potter. I mean the kid is my little brother's best friend and not gay. I'm not even sure htat what I thought happened last night, his willingness to be touched by me actually happened.

My brothers certainly won't be talking to me for a couple of Mellenia's.

I begin to chuckle to myself at the thought.

Chuckle turns into a laugh than a full blown out hysterical laughter.

I laugh until it hurts to laugh any longer.

By the time I'm done I'm lying on the floor staring at the ceiling thnking of nothing.

The sound of a door opening and closing.

"Don't you ever lock your doors?" Huh?

"Hardly ever Mother." She's staring down at me.

"You were in the Daily Prophet." Wow I'm famous.

"Really... how great!" Enthusiasm is hard.

"You're coming home with me."

I say nothing. Propping myself up on my elbow staring hard into the face that I've known as my mother my entire 20 years of life.

I nod. Silence I find is my best friend.

My mother packed my belongings and made a Portkey for us.

"Where is your wand?"

"I killed it."


	2. No Lonnger

**NO LONGER…**

**Chpt. 2**

(OK… so I personally like this fanfic because Percy and Harry… Well I think that that would be hot. Just as I think Draco and Ron are hot…

Anyways I would still like some reviews on what I'm doing wrong, or if you're a generous person. What I'm haphazardly doing right!)

I'm sitting in this kitchen that I once thought of as the most dingy place in this decrepit house. I should've known that once Fred and George hit the jackpot they would fill the family house in all their riches.

I'm ashamed to think that that would be more than a step further than what I would've done. Was more than a step than what I did.

Sipping the tea I feel a strange forbidding, a dread to see the rest of the family…

The Potter incident is one that will not be forgotten any time soon.

I was thinking about fixing up the old chicken coop since that seems to be the only place that the Twins haven't gotten to. The house itself has become something that I feel uncomfortable in. The clutter is no longer there. Or maybe it is and I can't see it.

The interior of the house feels like it's expanded. Which knowing the family as I do it probably has been expanded by the use of magic. I remember when Father had that old Ford car, the way it was larger in the inside to fit the entire family and Harry in it.

The kitchen is no longer that ugly colour; it's now taken on a beige colour making the old clock noticeable. My name is still on the clock much to my surprise. The only thing different is that Harry Potter's name has been added. It has taken on the appearance of being furnished.

I don't really like it. It feels somehow fake.

I look down at the plate of pancakes Mother had placed in front of me. Even the plate looks strange to my eye. Without the cracked edges and scratched up pattern, making it seem like out of those cereal commercials that are on the Muggle T.V.

I want to bow my head and return back to when normality was more frequent than what I am seeing.

_BOOK OF TORN LIFE_

_As I flip among my pages  
I dare not tear the already torn  
but why I wonder, do I seek  
a page with not a sign of worn  
I flip and flip, without a doubt  
in search of my beautiful page  
but I am soon to discover  
all my pages are destroyed by rage  
I've gone through my sad novel  
wispy sheet by wispy sheet  
destroying all my love and joy  
because I have no place in which it will keep  
the gaps that I must close  
however wide they gape  
cannot be sewed shut  
or closed up with tape  
I must refill them  
with something so grand  
that nothing can slip through them  
not even a grain of sand  
maybe the sand will come from the beach  
or maybe it will come off of paper  
but at least I know one things for sure,  
my beautiful pages will be complete, thus making me complete_

_burningtears_

I know that there is someone other than Mother and I in the room. I know that they are

Just standing in the doorframe just staring at me. With no words to utter or thoughts to voice, I know it is Father. I know that he won't be the first one to speak. But I do not want to look up into his newly aged and tired face. I don't want to see the change that has happened to him as it has happened to Mother.

Instead I drink the last dregs of my tea.

Mother doesn't seem to want to be person stuck in between us two. And obviously neither Father nor I will speak.

I remember all that I said to this man. This man whose loins I was created.

Maybe I should be made at that… because of my existence.

"Percy, would you like some more tea?" Mother's voice is falsely happy, trying to deal with the tension in the room. I smile and shake my head at my tea cup.

There's a sort of hilarity at what is happening.

I just can't really see it.

I'm beginning to regret agreeing to come here. I knew it was going to be a bad idea. However I don't think I could've anticipated drunk, or sober just how bad of an idea.

I feel Father standing beside me. I can tell that he wants to touch me, wants to make sure I'm really sitting in the room.

I feel the pit of my stomach drop and a sharp pain in my chest rise as I feel the want to cry. Show tears that I have rarely ever shown.

Not even as a child, did I let tears plague my face.

Pride.

My joy, my curse.

Maybe I should break that pride this once. Maybe I should turn around and allow myself to fall into an embrace that can equal no lovers' embrace.

No.

Pride, my joy my curse.

I can feel his warmth, the weariness that seems to fall off of him as scabs fall off of healed wounds.

I wish that I were someone who could turn around and say all the unspoken words that plague the pounding beat of my heart.

Alas, I am not.

His hand rests on my shoulder as I begin to eat the stale cold pancakes.

I'm sitting in my old room. Everything is as it was when I left. Mother had obviously wished that I would find the way back home. Making me feel like a runaway dog.

One of my brothers or perhaps my newly adopted brother has been sleeping in this room. I don't really care, but am curious. After all by the way that my brothers looked at me when I drunkenly hit on Harry, that they would find anything of _Percy's _contaminated with some disease.

I can't help but chuckle to myself.

"Percy?" The voice startles me.

Looking up with a start I find myself looking across the room to the last face I would want to see in this newly spaced out house.

He still looks the same as he had the week before. It seems that the drunken state of mind played no tricks on me. Milky white skin, pitch black hair. And yet it is those bright emerald green eyes that brings my desire out in full.

I stare at him. Pleased that he keeps my gaze. The red blushes on his cheeks are noticeable.

I stand up.

"Sorry if I'm intruding on you. I just wanted to see this old room again." I try to keep the humour of this situation out of my voice.

"No. I don't mind. I just came to get my broom…" The way he trails off I am reminded of that letter he wrote.

I step closer to walk straight pass him.

"I meant what I said Potter." I say it softy, wanting to imply something that he probably wouldn't understand. I smile to myself as I feel him tense. Walking out of the room I feel a little bit giddy.

Dinner had started off as a solemn affair. Being that I was there. However once Ginny began to question me on the Muggle world and what my work was like, the conversation rolled on.

Everyone fascinated that I could actually work with my hands. Father being the most animate in these topics. Fred and George asking if they could sell some of their products in the Muggle world.

"… well they have some things like what I hear you guys are selling, but understandably you cannot transfigure…"

"Of course not! But there is a new thing that we've made that would get us the puronds-"

"Pounds."

"Whatever. Anyways it's a treat that turns your eyes-"

Mother started in on them. Telling them to use common sense and not be idiots.

All the while I noted that Harry Potter kept glancing at me. Catching his eye a couple times I let my eyes fall to his lips. Wondering what it would be like to kiss them… and other things.

He was red and blushing the entire dinner.

After words I had some Firewhiskey with Father despite Mother's insistence that I shouldn't.

"Mother, I am a drunk true. But sometimes it OK to indulge in it." Father had to reassure her that it was fine.

Talking with Father was refreshing. I apologized for things I said, the alcohol taking affect and making me say things that I probably would have never said.

I'm walking down the hall barely remembering where my old room is. I'm wobbling but not too noticeably. I decided to head to bed early, so that I could get up on time to go to Diagon Alley with the family.

Opening the door I realize what I've forgotten about the room.

The sleeping form in the blankets is breathtaking. The moonlight making the face seems like one of the angels that the Muggle William Bouguereau painted. Sitting down on the side of the bed near his torso, I gently touch his face. He stirs but doesn't wake.

I touch his black eyelashes with the tips of my fingers. A shudder, than his eyes open slowly. I ignore it and let my thumb press down on his rosy lips. Perfectly made like that of a cherub. I look up into his now wide awake eyes. A small gasp of my name.

Then I smile and kiss his ready lips. Softly until I know that he has absorbed it in, than I apply more pressure.

I open his mouth with a push of my tongue. As it opens I begin to undo the buttons of his nightshirt. Running my cold hand down over his nipples. My other hand on the other side of his head so that I can get a better position.

His eyes are still locked with mine. Surprised but in a good way.

I move my hand over his tight little stomach, letting him breathe finally as I trace his jaw line with my lips. He's panting.

My hand is on his naval area.

"Percy?" He's sounds unsure. Scared even.

"Don't worry this is all I want to do." I whisper into his ear as I kiss around it.

He leans back into the pillows in order to show that he trusts me.

My hand is moving over his most sensitive body part. I latch my mouth on his in order to quiet his cry.

My hand is moving back to foreskin and sliding up and down in slow and deliberate movements. Pressing hard, with my mouth trying to quiet him.

He thrusts up to me, my own erection getting out of hand.

_He's just a boy._

You shut up.

Finally he comes. Clutching to the back of my shirt, he releases me and falls back exhausted into the pillows. Breathing heavily.

I kiss the side of his face. Than move him so that I can lie next to him. My erection is still there, but I'll ignore it.

Harry is tired and moves so that he is staring down into my face.

"Percy…" He seems confused.

I place my index finger that isn't covered in his semen on his lips to shush him. I smile up into his beautiful eyes.

"Sleep. Beautiful." He nods and lays his head on my chest.

_He's just a boy._

He is no longer just a boy.

_No longer…_

He is mine.

_No longer…_

Why do you keep saying that?

_…_

OK. What did you think about that? Bit weird and now I'm stuck on what to write.


	3. Friegned Forgiveness

**FRIEGNED FORGIVNESS**

Chpt. 3

(OK so now that I think I have an idea as to what to write I'll get into this...

Oh, and keep reviewing. Percy fics are my favourite and I'm hoping that all those who read mine will be inspired to write more than a few of their own…)

"Percy, what the hell are you doing here!" The tone is full of a malice that I never thought could belong to redhead.

I want to let the tears build up and eat up my insides. I want to let them know how much their words cut to the skin.

_Hmm… no bar around here is there Percy?_

Oh, SHUT IT!

I can feel their eyes on me. Boring into my soul trying to verify their own beliefs and half- spoken truths about me.

_Well, you are quite selfish… just like they told you._

I'll kill myself. I swear if only to shut you up!

I know I should look into their identical faces and beg silently for forgiveness. However I Percival Ignatius Weasley will not. They are the ones who are the ones in the wrong. I am not.

_You do realize that if you were drunk you would be begging most likely on the knees?_

OK. That's it I'm sick of you.

"Percy?" Either Fred or George (I could never really tell). I blink and look down into my brother's face. Malice gone, perplexed look overthrowing the otherwise good- natured face.

I merely raise my eyebrow.

"You were talking to someone…" He continues slowly as though not to throw me into the insane asylum.

Dread fills my gut.

_Percy Weasley gone insane… has a nice ring to it._

It'll take only a moment to tie the noose.

_I'll be waiting._

It's been a… I can't even describe the word that would be appropriate.

The Terrible Twins as I dub them are unbelievable. I cannot say that I like the new attention I am receiving from them. I cannot say that I like the fact that they won't tease me, instead they act as if I am some delicate Chinese doll that must be talked to.

_Feigned forgiveness is the game._

Indeed. If the only game.

Harry Potter won't look at me. I know that he's confused by last night. Perhaps even waking up to me beside him this morning… I wouldn't know since he left for breakfast before I was willing to wake up to my hangover.

He jumps at every chance to get away from me. I guess that deep down I understand. I mean I probably brought him to his first orgasm by another person. Although I have to admit that I pleasantly enjoyed it.

_"… get drunk, get drunk_

_for those truly drunk_

_are lucky _

_for paradise belongs to them.."_

I love this poem and hum my own tune to it.

"Percy?" How strange that that is the first thing out of any person's mouth to me. It could be symbolic.

Turning my head up I look up into a face I have learned to appreciate. The emerald green eyes glistening in the sun as though Time itself were gathering itself in there.

I smile. "Yes?"

I'm the type of person who doesn't like to be interrupted in my reverie.

He shuffles and fidgets. I realize that everyone else is gone.

"Um… I…er…wanted to know what you… were thinking?" The blush forming itself on his high cheekbones gives it away that there is more to the question than he would voice.

I feel my smile warm itself up.

I say it while I'm looking at his lips. Knowing that it will unnerve him.

How right I am.

He goes red. Not the Weasley maroon red, but red enough for me to hear that stupid thing again.

_He's just a boy. One that is now your brother._

"Harry. I've been wondering… what do you think of being a Weasley?" I genuinely want to know.

"Uh… I like" I wait for him to clear his throat. "the fact that everyone wants to be around me. Wants to talk to me." He says it rather quickly, as though he needed to talk fast to keep his concentration.

"Really? I'm glad." I reach over and put my hand on his chin. Running my thumb over the perfect pale skin. Strong chin. Strong bones.

He tenses at my touch the way that he did last night. But doesn't move away. Instead in his eyes I see the confusion and complexed feelings in the emeralds.

"Percy?" He pauses, his eyebrows coming together and his forehead producing lines that were invisible. "Why are you doing this? I mean its not like we've ever been much for friendship… and you told Ron not to be my friend," He sounds agitated at the last bit, not sad.

I lean down and closer. My breath on his face. My eyes boring into his. Emerald Beauty. Heh, I like the sound of that.

"Hmm… I'm a very selfish person, Harry. I know that, you know that everyone in this wretched house knows that." I swoop down, my lips on his. "Besides," I murmur against his rose petal lips "I'm a drunk."

As though that were all that needed to be said. As though that is what will explain my ignorance, my arrogance.

_You're a fool._

Ah, so I am.

Order of the Phoenix! Why I must have been boggling at that piece of paper.

"Percy! Just because you were being a prat, doesn't mean you can be one now." I'm surprised to find that it is Bill who says this to me.

Pushing up my glasses, I say gaining my dignity, "Yes, well I'm glad you've told me—"

"I bet you are."

I look over at Ron across the table. His freckled face darkened, his mutter meant for me to hear. Prompted by my look he continues.

"You're probably wanting to join. You probably want to be right in the middle, gloating over us that you're _Perfect Percy_, Future Minister for Magic—"

I cut him off, before Mother can turn red and scream until she's hoarse.

"Ah, you forget my little_ brother_." I say this with particular scorn. "That I'm a _Faggot_ as you so diligently called me, as well as a hopeless _drunk._ I hardly think I'll be welcome to walk the corridors of the Ministry!" I can't help the ice that hangs off over every one of my words.

He's staring at me. Mouth open, but I no longer care.

Turning to Mother I declare loudly so there is no argument.

"I am. Leaving. Now." I can't help it my anger is coming back, and I need a drink. Its been 3 days and although Harry has been some help to get my mind off of it. Chaste kisses and desirous emeralds will not sedate me any longer.

I'm out of the room, every shocked face emblazoned in my mind. Up the stairs I go. I tear up the room looking for my wand.

Then I remember.

It's gone.

I destroyed it.

_Why?_

Sitting on the bed I survey the mess I've made. Harry's stuff the only things not thrown around. Barrowing my face in my hands I answer that stupid thing.

I think I've gone mad.

_Aye. So you have._

I know Harry is in the room. Yelling at Mother and everyone of those assholes to leave me the fuck alone, I know that it could only be him.

I know that he is watching me from the other side of the room. Leaning against my old desk, surveying me. Analyzing me.

_Why shouldn't he?_

"Percy." For not the first time in my life I wished that my name was something else. Something that didn't sound so filthy to my ears.

Bringing my head up, I sigh.

"What." I'm irritated. I won't hide it.

Frowning, his eyes closed to me. "Don't sound like that."

"Sound like what?" Oh, so I sound grotesque do I?

I don't like it when I cannot see his emotions.

"Like you used to." Yeah…and I think I'm crazy.

He sighs, "Like I'm a bug that needs to be crushed."

I can't help the laugh that comes out of my mouth.

The stiffness of his back and venom of his eyes, makes me laugh harder.

"I still hate you." His voice is serious. His eyes reflecting the hate that he feels.

Hysterical laughter threatens to overtake me.

_Hmm… still hates you? _

He's angry.

_No. He's just a boy, a boy whose seen more and understood less._

Maybe the other way around.

_He still hasn't forgiven you._

So long as those emerald eyes are for me.

_…_

Touching him is one of the only things that makes my existence. He won't let me touch his sensitive parts. Only his neck and chest.

I want more than that.

"I thought you were leaving?" God, how could he not know what I want to do to him?

"I was."

"Well…" His eyes are now open to me. Innocent curiosity. It makes me wonder why my parents let me sleep in here. They probably don't know that he sleeps in here. Ron won't tell them.

"I won't because 'You still hate me'."

"Hmm… you're confusing." Hands that are so rough, hair so dry.

"So long as I make you mine."

"Yours?" Chaste kisses with those softly bruised lips drive me made.

"You know what I mean."

_Yes, he does._

(OK… so Percy will remember what happened to his wand. And although only "chaste" with Harry I promise things'll heat up.)


	4. Fool

** FOOL**

Chapt. 4

I can very well imagine what the family would do if they could see into my mind. See the unbelievable perverted things that are visioned whilst I stare at him across this room.

I realize that there is not a chance in this world that I could hold him more than I do now.

I realize that there is not a chance in this world that I could ever feel his love for me.

No I will never be anything more than his _first_. But I think I can live with that. After all it's not as if I love him for being any more than a boy. One that I have no chance at conquering. One that is the world's greatest hero.

This room is rather depressing. With the hissing sounds coming from cupboards that haven't been really cleaned, or touched in a year. The master of this house has gone. Leaving only a portrait of a despicable mother behind. The way that she screamed at all of us as that Auror Tonks knocked on the door.

I feel my own ignorance in this room. The way that the objects have the distinct cold superior look to them. The family crest nearly on everything.

I've been looking at one particularly tapestry. The connections that interlock all of the pure- blooded families. The way that the _Weasley _are burnt off of it. The scotch mark a sign that even if I were to have brought a pure- blooded honour to our family it would've been in vain. But it's rather an ugly beauty to know that all of us are connected in this fine web of lies and betrayals. As though the world was locked and loaded out of our world. As though the only things that matter is _us._

Harry's staring at me, watching with closed eyes as I analyze the tapestry. I wish that I could have him read my mind. I wish that all of the people in this room could see me for me. Not as the once fallen from grace Perfect Prefect Percy. I wish that Ron could remember that I am his brother. The one that held him as his world fell apart to reveal the reality that children are hidden from. I wish that Fred and George could remember that I was once one of their biggest fans. That I loved at one point the way that their antics would make me smile and laugh as only children can laugh. I wish that Bill and Charlie would hold me and tickle me as they did when I was… not perfect, nor ambitious.

My mother and father. They never really knew me. They never really cared. Father's business, Mother's divided attention.

Harry's staring at me still. Ginny, ah when Ginny was born I thought that the world shone for her. I wished that the world would be roses and cloudy days for her. But before she could even remember her life, I changed. I changed into this person who felt nothing for anything. This person whose only feeling was shame for his family, shame for the way that his clothes were tattered and torn. The way that on his first day at Hogwarts his books fell apart at the spine. Shame at the way the sneers from his counterparts seemed to sneak into his mind.

_Ah, if only you dared to turn back time._

I sigh turn away from the tapestry that seems to mark all that is wrong in this world. The incest, the detachment of a family tree that is one of the most despicable that humankind will ever give birth to.

Harry looks at me. His emerald eyes for a minute flicker with a small gust of confusion. Only to turn back to the rantings of dear Ms. Tonks.

I can tell by the way that they keep sitting there their waiting for someone of much importance to arrive. I can guess who it is.

"Hello, Percy. Pleasure to see you again." The kind tone could only belong to one person.

"Hello, Headmaster." I have only had a selected few confrontations between this man and his twinkling eyes and white hair.

Smiling he greets everyone else. I'm silently reminded of the jealousy that I felt towards Harry, as the Headmaster greets him more warmly than the rest.

"I believe its time to start this meeting." I sit down. With the feeling that I am going to regret allowing myself to be persuaded to come to this rotting house.

"As I'm sure you are all wondering why I have decided to let the young ones join in on this Order of Phoenix the answer simply is _ignorance is the enemy of mankind._ If I do not allow the young ones to finally become apart of what they are destined to become than they are the most easily marked for a horror that no soul can ever imagine.

The Dark Lord Voldemort is back. We've know this longer than anybody. But the past month's events have made it clear that even we, even _I_ was not prepared for the tragedy of it. We must finish this before it starts I'm afraid. If that is to send the hunter into a hungry lions den, than that is what must be done. I will not tell you that bravery will work for you here. I will not lie to comfort you.

We will die. The world will die, if we do not stop this unspeakable evil before it consumes us. We must if it is the way things are done, do what we will. There is no point in hiding it."

The sadness is obvious in his ancient face. The despair that has marked my life in its most pathetic moments is etched on the already sad face of a man whose seen more than the world has yet to see in its entirety.

Turning to me his face grows sadder.

"I am asking you, not requesting you Percy to go back to the Ministry and work in behind scenes. To be the eyes and ears of the Order." I feel the many pairs of eyes turn to me speechless.

I swallow and nod.

He nods and goes on to further business.

But I hear none of it. The fire that is raging in my ears is more than my already shattered mind can take. I have no money, no wand nor anything that could thus make me important.

I don't understand. The conflicting emotions that well up in my chest are screaming at me to get a hold of myself. But I cannot. I'm about to turn into a spy for a man that could be the Minister of Magic himself. Why the Ministry would hide information from him.

Besides I was fired… right?

_No you just left and never came back._

The meeting is over and I never heard another word of it. Only now the reasonable explanation is because I truly am as selfish and self- centered as the tear stricken Penelope once screamed at me.

I'm asked to stay in this room. Dreary and dusty. I cannot believe that I do not feel like cleaning it. I'm not even drunk. Cold stoned sober and yet I don't want to clean this room of its dust and decrepit drapings.

A knock on the door is loud to this rather spacious room.

Opening it I feel my body being crushed as the body forces its lips on mine. Tiptoeing so that it is leaning on me. The sound of eyeglasses clinking together is all I hear, before I stumble with the body into "my" room.

The heated sensation is only broken as I gasp and try to take of both of our glasses. His eyes full with the lust I have only ever seen in John's eyes. As though he is seeing more than a skinny body with bright red hair. More than seeing the slight of build body I have been given.

All I know is that his eyes at this point are driving me wild. I can still see him as I take of my glasses, being nearsighted I know that I will love the way that he feels the sensations that I am about to impose on him.

Down his neck with my hands on his shirt I lift it up. His own thin hands undoing the buttons of my borrowed shirt from Bill. I ravish his chest with small nips and nibbles. The moment that my teeth meet his nipple I hear a gasp that has me lifting him up and throwing him to the bed. I don't care if anyone can hear us, but apparently he does.

"Percy. Wait!" As I begin to undo his belt. A whoosh sound and he grabs his wand from his back pocket. Pointing it near me I can't help but flinch. Ignoring me he whispers a simple silencing charm.

As soon as he's done I take his wand and throw it near the place I threw our glasses. Catching his mouth in a heated kiss as he nearly shouts in anger.

With his pants gone I play with the cloth covering his organ. A gasp.

"Percy…" That is all he can say, I take of the cloth as well and grasp the exact thing that I've wanted to taste since the first time I touched him.

"No fair!" I am trying to put him in my mouth as he says this. Looking up at him in amusement I say silkily.

"What is that my fair beauty?" I'm genuinely curious. Aroused by his blush.

"I'm naked!" I smile and take my hand off of his organ. Taking my own antagonizing slow time with my pants. His panting and embarrassment is worth it. My hardened member almost dripping with desire.

I am forced to acknowledge the fact that I have the object of my desire in a bed waiting for me to take his innocence and I have not the correct formula of liquids in my body to do so.

Something in my face must've reflected my thoughts.

"Percy?" His blush is tantalizing. I want to ravish and pillage his body right there. I want to go inside him and feel the most intimate part of a person's anatomy.

"Get your wand." I recognize my voice as my old Head Boy's voice. Another day I might find the title entertaining.

He scrambles off the bed to do as I tell him. Taking his wand from his hand I point it at the table and whisper the only spell of lubrication I have ever learned. Not the best in the world I admit. Seeing as how I had to use it only when I messed up one of my potions assignments and made the water disappear, than reappear.

I know I should continue on with foreplay but I don't think that at this point I can. Besides the way that Harry is blushing at my organ and is visibly aroused, I don't think that it'll matter in a few moments.

Leaning over him to lie him back down on his back I kiss my lovely's face until he's kissing me back with just as much want.

I insert two fingers into his mouth.

"It might hurt more otherwise." I'm concerned. I really don't want to hurt him, but my body is not wanting to forgo this.

I insert the fingers into his opening. Moving them around until his eyes open and lock with mine. His pained breathing is hurting me. He touches my face in order to tell me that it doesn't hurt that badly.

I'm moving them around in order to make the opening bigger. The way that he closes his eyes and groans with a distinct sound of pleasure makes me sure that he's ready to be taken.

I put both his legs on either side of my waist. And my aroused pained organ takes over.

His scream would be loud enough to wake the dead. I slow down remembering my first time the way that my ex- lover slowed down and kissed me.

Wrapping my arms around his body I bring him up to me. Kissing his neck as he has his own arms around my neck. Head tipped back his breathing slows and he begins to rock on my lap.

I move in deeper. The deep throated groan that is mine is cut off as he clamps his mouth on mine. Biting my lip hard enough to taste the copper shared by our breathing.

I rock faster. Our desperate gasps mingling together. His sounds more of a pained pleasure that I remember distinctly as the best I have ever felt. I continue on going deeper until I begin to thrust hard. His own body acting to go against mine. His organ stabbing into my stomach as I hit his sensitive part. His screams of pleasure making me go faster and harder as I feel the soft sticky wetness that is his semen explode on both of us. I can see the stars and feel the moon quake as I groan and throw my head back at his gasp of "Percy."

Soon the few moments of ecstasy are done. I hold him in my arms feeling his pain as the soreness comes back anew. Reviewing the feeling of tightness around my own body as I was in him.

_Why did he do this now?_

I don't care.

Smiling I hold Harry tighter as he snuggles closer to my body. The damp and dirty sheets below us, is not bothering me. Feeling the contentment that comes only after intercourse, I fall asleep.

Waking up I feel the coldness of being both naked and alone. I'm a little disorientated for a second's breath. Than I remember with a quick sick feeling in my stomach of last night.

I notice that he cleaned. Though the smell of sex still lingers in my mind, I have to wonder whether he used one of Mother's cleaning spells or perhaps one of the schools.

Shaking my head I look around for my glasses. On the nightstand. Where he put them, and beside them there is a black rose.

_Black rose? _

Where would he get a black rose?

Going down for breakfast (or whatever considering I don't have a watch). There's only one Bill and Charlie in the room, looking as though they haven't slept.

I sit down.

"Oh, hey Perce. Mom and the rest of the gang left to see the kids off to another year at Hogwarts." Bill says cheerfully.

_Ah, but of course. One night will satiate a child._

He's not a child.

_Only a fool would feel as you do._

I fume as Charlie fills me in on the plans that Dumbledore has for me.

(REVIEW! I need some ideas of whether or not to place Percy into battle… or make Harry love him. Or make it into just a sordid affair between two opposing forces.X/1999--- drool)


	5. Drink Me Up

_Drink me up with your ice cold eyes._

_Fill the glass to the brim_

_Let the red wine spill over that brim._

_Allow me to clean it up_

_Eat, my love_

_You said unto me._

_Yes, feast on the meat that I place before you_

_For no thing shall fill you up_

_As the flesh of your brother._

_Lord Voldemort to Percy Weasley_

_Five days after capture.  
__

* * *

_

In a cell I am kept.

Preparing for death.

Do I know not know how much time has been wasted.

All I know is that I have failed and waltzed straight into the arms of this _man_. All I know is that my body is covered in scars that I do not understand.

_How did this happen?_

Ah, I tried to play the hero.

_Hero?_

Hero. The sovereign that I am not. The hero that I was never to be.

_Tell me again, how did this happen?_

Alright. But just one more time.

-----------------------

"Percy, did you get it?" I nodded and produced a folder. All the information they asked me to get them in that folder. Tonks took it from my hand smiling as she sent it off to Dumbledore.

I felt the sudden urge to tell her that I could have done that. But I kept my mouth closed. I don't want to have an argument. All I want to do is go to bed, and release myself of the guilt I felt.

_Why didn't you?_

Ah, let me finish.

_Sorry._

That's OK.

A snowy owl came into the room and delivered a parcel to me. I recognized the beautiful creature as belonging to Harry. Hedwig, I believe it was called.

Thanking it I placed the small parcel in my pocket to shield it from a very curious Tonks.

Once I was safely in my room I opened it.

_Dear Percy,_

_We went to Hogsmeade a couple days ago and I found something that you might like. I instantly thought that it was you._

_Yours,_

_Harry._

The parcel was a little orb. It had a man bent over a desk in it writing furiously away. When I looked closer it the miniature man had flaming red hair, the colour I used to have. On the back of the desk was a symbol that only the Minister for Magic receives.

It was easy to detect that Harry was still bitter at me about the way I've been.

I wrote a small thank you note. With a '_Love, Percy_' just to piss him off at the end.

* * *

The next day I prepared myself for another 'mission' for Dumbledore. A folder about the Department of Mysteries that only I, Minister's Assisistant would have access to.

It was easy enough, just like all the other information I've been getting for the Order.

Though of what the information's importance was, I still have no idea.

Everyday for the past three months has been the same. Sneak out the folder, sneak them back in.

And so my life became 'Perfect Percy' once again. I lived at Grimmauld #12 for the entire time.

_When did it go wrong?_

A miscalculation on the Order's part.

_It wasn't your fault?_

I think that deep down I wanted it to go wrong.

_Hmm…_

* * *

It was at the end of November that I felt it. That absolute _need. _I was supposed to finish writing an invitation to the Asian Ministries. A banquet to further the communications between the countries.

But I suddenly as my quill dipped into the ink bottle I felt the suffocation take over my lungs. I didn't realize that as I worked I was thinking, _dreaming _about that sweet bitter taste of it. That I was dreaming of the sense of relief that I wasn't 'Perfect Percy' as I swallowed that awful nector down my throat.

I needed to get out. I looked up and found myself looking across my closet office into a mirror. I was the same as I had always been. The red hair far too bright for my untended skin. The lean body under nourished giving me a skinny gone to waste look. My eyes covered with horned rimmed glasses.

I didn't want to see this. I didn't want to feel this.

I stood up.

Madness taking me over in my moment of need.

I left the quill dripping on the blank parchment and apparated out of the office.

I looked for the nearest bar I could find. I couldn't stop the sense of reeling because I needed it that badly.

I admit it that I wasn't expecting the need and want to be so…

…_out of control?_

Yes, I didn't think that it would be.

* * *

I have no idea how long it was. How long I sat there drinking until the world began to blur, even with my eyeglasses. A whirl of emotions balled in my chest, as does happen when I drink heavily. My mind was perfectly numb. No damned useless information. No sudden realizations that the world was coming to an end for me.

Nothing.

And perhaps that is the way I have always wanted it for me. Perhaps 'nothing' is the way that things should be for me.

Another drink. The taste of it doesn't bother me anymore.

The world faded and all that mattered was the urge to throw up. No!

I did not want to throw up.

There was a man right beside my already swaggering body. Putting his arm around me.

If I had been sober I would've been sickened to my core.

I allowed him to lead me to his house with promises of more liquor. Among other things.

I allowed him to take my clothes off as I drank deeply from an empty rum bottle.

I allowed him… many things.

* * *

Awakening I looked to the other side of the bed. Thinking of nothing, but that familiar pounding in my skull. The man in whom I allowed to take me as I was under influence was still sleeping.

Not too bad looking. Amazing that he could look like that, whilst I remembered nothing of last night's events.

Light brown hair, tanned dark looking skin. Tall, but still shorter than I was. Than again, most people are.

_And all he had to do was give you more alcohol…_

Hell! With a deal like that, anyone would be in bed with me.

He was still sleeping despite my trying to get him up. So I finally grabbed a bed sheet and went in search of the bathroom.

After relieving myself I took a shower.

Then I went back to the room and gathered my clothes, prepared to leave. I had no hopes that the man would wake up any time soon. Besides I needed to see if Mother was worried at all. Unlikely but there was always that chance.

Leaving the house I noticed how abnormally clean it was. Small and clean. Unusual but then again

Who am I to define 'Normalcy'?

* * *

OK so what do you think? I decided to change my writing style here a little. I thought that I needed to exploit Percy's alcoholism. 


	6. I Feel

Chapt. 6

I Feel

* * *

I feel it in the tide of the wind. The absolute coldness of _Nothing…_ I can almost taste the blade that they want to put to my skin.

I feel it in the stir of the air that passes through my lungs.

Something evil is going to happen soon… I know it.

I can feel the earth eat itself and split itself in two.

I want to die.

There is a coldness in this dark cell that I now abide in. I cannot see, the blackness consumes me, eating my insides with sharp black talons. My eyes are staring to sting. My breathing has become laboured. I feel myself falling apart. My mind is no longer as strong as it once was.

_Will you continue the story?_

* * *

I felt the traitorous son that I am, after my encounter with that man in the bar. I suppose most would call it ironic. I mean, over a year ago I abandoned and disowned my family.

When I was sitting in the kitchen, with my mother it made my whole existence seem so…surreal. Like none of what has happened in the past actually happened. As though I were still attending Hogwarts and that we were just having a normal, breakfast.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream for Bloody Mary to hear me. I wanted to rush out of that room and strip down nude, allowing any to touch me. Allowing any to _defile_ me.

I wanted to stop the insanity that was going through my mind. I wanted to be able to breathe without being forced to.

I wanted to just feel.

My brothers and Tonks came into the room. Charlie and Bill conversing with Mother as if I wasn't gracing the room as well. However that was never quite unusual.

I was always the odd one out.

* * *

I spent that morning in my room. Lying on the hard uncomfortable mattress, thinking of what a terrible waste my life has become.

Thinking of all those years I put into my intelligence only to find out that I was doomed. That I could obsess over grades and become the best I could possibly be…

My brothers believe I was _am_, a prat. A know-it-all prat who cared only about status.

And I was.

I can admit it. I knew the way they looked at me when I was ten up until I was 20… the rolling of their eyes when I accomplished something that I wanted. I know that they hated me. Loathed being in the same room as me.

But I didn't care. They didn't know me back then, as they don't know me now.

They didn't see the darkness that consumed me as I was a child. The way that only burying myself in my studies soothed that. That their obsession with Quidditch is the same as mine with books. They have no hope in knowing. The way that I couldn't stop the tears at night when I , in vain, tried to sleep. They could feel the pain and despair that insomnia placed on me.

They just didn't see me. I was invisible in my own circle of small defeats. I knew it, in fact I _know _it.

* * *

The next morning I went to the Ministry only to find myself unmotivated. I found myself staring out of the fake window, seeing the false sunlight. Bored to the extent that I now sympathized with Fred and George when they sat in a class that they didn't care about.

One of the stupid flying memos came towards me that day. I wanted to rip and tear it into shreds. I wanted to throw things around and destroy every little particle of it.

I did realize that that would've been one of the most childish actions that I probably have ever done.

The memorandum in itself said that the Minister wanted to see me. I, of course was only too eager to see the Minister about some work for me to do. Considering that if I allow myself to stay unoccupied, I tended to let myself think about _it._

_So you're an alcoholic?_

But of course…

* * *

When I opened the door to the Minister's office I found myself staring at the head of a blonde man. Very blonde, and with him there was some people who looked as if they hadn't showered for days. Or more like weeks considering one of the men was shedding some black char that marred his skin.

I suppose my first rational thought was that 'this has got to be a joke'. I half- way expected Fred and George coming out of the cabinet and screaming surprise.

But it was real.

The blonde man had his wand raised to the Minister's face. Pointing it at that pudgy man's nose. I was in shock. Though no more that Minister Fudges' if he was just going to sit there. When the curse was spoken I didn't hear it. All my senses were taken up by the green flame that erupted from the wand.

Only when the brown eyes' dimmed and the head rolled on the shoulder blades, did I realize that the door behind me had closed and the Death Eater's were now interested in me.

Snippet's of their conversations caught my ear. Debating from what I could understand. It reminded me of that Muggle childhood story that Father used to tell us as a kid.

The one where the evil witches' debate on what way to cook the little child.

Ironic, really.

It wasn't until the blonde man turned around was I able to recognize him. The same man that insulted my father in front of a bookstore years back…. Malfoy if the last name is correct.

I remember the other faces. Nott, Goyle, Crabbe, MacNair… two of those people had been Ministry employees.

"Take him to our Master! Are you insane? He's a filthy Mudblood lover, he is a Blood Traitor… A Weasley!" The blonde man was hissing as though he could speak Parselmouth.

"Exactly. After the Dark Lord gets through with him, than he'll leave him as a present to Dumbledore!" Nott was speaking to him. The only one of the other three who seems to have the intelligence to do so.

It was only then did I realize that I was lying on the floor. How I got there was a mystery to me. I attributed it to the shock I was still feeling.

They had decided…

Blackness filled my world once more…

Darkness that would later be filled to the brim with burning gut retching red eyes.

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A/N: OK I haven't really done much work on this chapter but I will get a move on I promise.

Also this fic will not be very much longer maybe two more chapters, but no more than that.

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So REVIEW negative comments welcomed. 


	7. Death 1

Chapter 7

_**DEATH #1

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**_

Death plucked my ear and said; Live for I am coming

_-Virgil

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_

Those blood- red eyes will forever haunt my mind.

They will be my nightmares in my last dying hours.

_Are you afraid?_

Yes.

_Do you have any idea what I am?_

No…

_No?_

Perhaps I do…

_Hmm… I always credited you with more than that Percy._

Maybe you should have realized what a fool I am.

_May I ask you to think?_

…

_As you hang on this wall with your last breathe… does it not bother you that a creature such as I will consume you?_

No… all you would consume is my body if nothing else…

_Oh. Really? Tell me Percy, what do you know of Dementors? Anything on what and who they were soon became?_

…

_Silence will get you no where…_

Those hands are touching me. Ripping my skin from my body… the blood is sticky and tastes like old copper…

Yet as the pain comes, I think of that one night I had with someone that I loved. Someone, that could guess at the pain of being someone that I or he could never be.

The touches that enflamed my chest and enhanced my senses painfully. The kisses that were juvenile and yet strangely adulterous.

He could never love me.

I could never love him.

But loneliness binds strange bedmates and heals the hidden wounds.

… Love that existed purely for the thought.

Yet as that snake like face stares into my mind trying to find some sort- of information that would benefit in this war that he will not win…

"And why won't I win it?" His voice is but a whisper.

I involuntary shudder trying vainly to shield myself from him.

His abnormally long skeleton hands are on me.

Painfully.

Are you there?

_Right here my child?_

Your child?

_So you will be and forever have been._

When can I leave?

_As soon as you accept that in Death there is only numbness._

But it is so painful…

_That's because this is not Death._

Than what is Death? If not this…

_Shhh..._

I lift my head up to meet his.

I look into the eyes that my childhood nightmares were made of.

I say with my fading strength…

"… There is no chance of you winning… because he is you and if he is killed than so are you…" Yes there it is. The Savoir of the Wizarding World was Lord Voldemort. Was bound to him closer than anything can be bound to something.

The pain has numbed. His hissing can no longer be heard by my ears. Instead there is this pleasant dimness in my eyes.

The smell of my own blood is fading…

_He's gone._

Is he? I didn't notice.

_Will you come with me now?_

Hmmm… no not yet.

_When._

When I lie in a bed. Warm and dead.

_Poetical._

Very.

Will you tell me how you found me?

_Ah, my child. You found me. _

Really?

_Shhh… you should listen now as I tell you my story._

I'm tired.

_Then let me put the black folds of my cloak around you._

Yes…

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_O Gods! You are unjust!_

_My mother and father_

_Deserved to have _

_A better child _

_Than me!_

_-_** _THE GOD WHISPERS OF _**

_**HAN QING- JAO**_

_-Orson Scott card._


	8. Death 2

Chapter 8

_**DEATH #2

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**_

**_PERCY WEASLEY:_** _THE DECEASED MINISTER'S JUNIOR ASSISTANT DEAD AT THE YOUNG AGE OF 21_

_This young man was a member of the Weasley family. A proud and noble Wizarding family who was against the ideas of purity by Voldemort since the beginning. Percival Ignatius Weasley was the third child in a family of seven. Top of his class, and whose younger brother befriended the infamous **Boy-Who-Lived**. Graduating as Head- Boy Percival Weasley was accepted in the Ministry under the duration of Bartimus Crouch. _

_It was a short- lived employment. Crouch was controlled by Voldemort at the time, and was under the Imperius when giving Weasley command over his post. _

_After the death of former pupil Cedric Diggory, Percival was offered the job of Junior Assistant to the former Minister, Fudge. _

_Once again this was to be a short- lived employment. _

_The Minister was found dead just seven months after the invasion of the Ministry. Percival Weasley was missing for eight days. _

_On the eighth he was found._

_Placed in Mungo's wards it seemed as though this young man was to live. _

_But alas, no. _

_It has been the first documented and witnessed attack of a **Lethifold**. The black curtain of Death. Or to some the Living Shroud. _

_Why this happened to this young man. We do not know._

_But he shall be missed by his family who are in deep mourning. _

_He shall be missed by his colleagues and friends. _

_There shall be a ceremony held this evening in the grounds of Hogwarts, led by **Harry Potter**. _

_The Dark Lord has passed, and in memory of the souls lost we shall lay foundation for this not to happen again._

_Luna Lovegood_

_Quibbler.

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_

"The **Lethifold** is a mercifully rare creature found only in tropical climates. It resembles a black cloak perhaps half an inch thick... which glides along the ground at night."  
-_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

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_

A/N: This was my first fanfic ever so I wanted to finish it before I continue with Three Nil.

However due to the lack of views I was given, it wasn't very good.

However Percy is my favourite character so I don't think it matters.


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